the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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