How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
