Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
