I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
