I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize