i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
