I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize