I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have tasted many bathrooms
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
