Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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