He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
