Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize