this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
