Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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