i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm always down for nudity.
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