I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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