new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
