it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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