I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
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