My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
