She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
