i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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