Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
