Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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