I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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