I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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