So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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