I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
