omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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