So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
