Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
