look no pants
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
