Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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