She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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