i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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