Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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