shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
