laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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