Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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