Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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