1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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