Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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