My nipple is on Facebook.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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