I wannas sexs uuuuu
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
