Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
