Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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