so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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