he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
