i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
