My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
This is not my ceiling
even my farts smell like vagina
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
