i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
