Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
