Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
