i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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