Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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