I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
