took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize