I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
