We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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