I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
