I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
