Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
