Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
