So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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