So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
