Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
