we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
