How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
