Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Sober January is a disaster.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize