It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
