I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize