we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
