I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
