what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
where are my eyebrows?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
