I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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