ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you win again, gameday.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
