i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
